During conversation with friends, someone asks how to reconcile a broken relationship. It gets you thinking about your last relationship and how you were certain you had found the love of your life but you eventually messed up anyway and she divorced you. Now you are thinking you want to try to get her back.
Since we all know you can’t change anybody but yourself, the best way to go about that is to find a way to start making the changes you need to make in yourself. Don’t think it will happen overnight because it won’t. Some people are capable of making the life changes they need to make on their own but I recommend starting off by talking to a professional counselor and maybe joining a support group depending on what the problem was in your relationship.
If you are going to make lasting changes you need to find the training to do it. Just like going to college and earning your degree then training for your first job. You didn’t know it before you learned it or trained for it. Making a relationship last is not any different. Life is a learning process. We are all works in progress. We are not born just knowing everything we need to know. Especially not knowing how to reconcile a broken relationship.
When your extensive training is complete, however long it takes, then you can approach your ex and simply ask to speak to her over coffee. Don’t make any drastic moves at this point. You need to show her that you have changed and she has to learn to trust you again. This will all take time, probably several months at least. She is not going to jump right back into a relationship with someone who hurt her badly.
Say she agrees to have coffee with you, now what? Just talk to her. Keep the conversation light and don’t get into anything heavy right off the bat. You will scare her off. Make her wonder what you are up to, keep her guessing. You want her to keep thinking about you after coffee. Don’t tell her yet what you have been doing to improve yourself, show her. Let her start to see the new you. When she sees the changes you have made for herself she may even ask if you have been seeing a counselor. Now is the time you can tell her all about the improvements you have made and why.
If she is receptive to giving you and the relationship a second chance, ask her out on a real date and treat her like the love of your life you always thought she was. Also, sooner rather than later, sincerely apologize for any pain you caused her the first time around. If she forgives you, you know all your hard work was worth it and that she understands and trusts that you figured out how to reconcile a broken relationship.