Before you learn how to get lover back, it’s important that you stop yourself for a minute and ask yourself why you want them back. I know, you’ll say it’s because you still love them, and you might, but are you sure that really is the main reason? Look, I’m not trying to be rude here, but it’s really easy to feel our life has been shaken off it’s foundations after a breakup and we find ourselves scrambling to get back to something that seems normal. This could be a big reason to want them back, but it’s not a good one.
You really need to not only be completely honest about the reasons you want them back, you also need to be totally honest when it comes time to evaluate if the relationship was even healthy enough to continue with. So the question should be (at this point) not about how to get them back but whether or not you should get back with them.
If there was any type of abuse at all…physical, sexual, verbal, etc. than you absolutely shouldn’t get back with them even if they promise they’ll change (I mean, you’ve no doubt heard those promises before, and were they ever kept?). If your ex has been in therapy for some time and has shown a commitment to changing than maybe you could consider reconciling with them but you must know that the two of you had a certain dynamic when you were together and it’s very likely that you’ll fall back into that pattern if you get together again, therapy or not.
If, after careful consideration, you decide that the relationship is worth giving another shot, here are some things that will show you how to get lover back:
1. First of all, try to contact your ex to see if they are even receptive to the idea. This part can be tricky. You have to be very casual, don’t let them know yet that you want to get back with them. Keep it easy and light and just suggest meeting to ‘catch up’ as friends. If they say no, than more than likely you have your answer. If they don’t even want to get together for coffee as friends, it’s unlikely that they’ll want to get back with you.
If they say yes, keep the ‘date’ very casual. Just talk to each other. Be fun loving and sincere, you know, the way you were when the two of you first met. Things will probably progress from there if your ex is interested in getting back with you too.
2. If your ex shows no interest of reconciling with you you need to walk away with your head held high. Nothing ventured nothing gained, but it’s important to know when to call it a day. Don’t get angry, threaten, swear, etc. Just wish them a good life (no matter how much you may choke on those words) and say goodbye. At least that way you won’t feel like a fool every time you remember the meeting.
These are simple things you can do to find out if your ex is receptive to a reconciliation, and if not you can move on knowing that you tried. Please take the time, first, though to make sure that you really should learn how to get lover back, not all relationships should be saved.